My favourite exaggerations

by Yash 0 Comments

I often use exaggerations to make a point. My favourite ones –

Another zero will be added to India’s population
I use this to signify that significant amount time will be spent or has been spent doing something very trivial.

By the time I reach office, a zero would be added to India’s population
By the time it will compile, a zero would be added to India’s population
A zero was added to India’s population by the time you wrote this code!

Using extreme years
The remoteness of the year depends on the degree of time spent since the event I am talking about

I passed out of college in the last century = Its been many years since I passed out of college
I had my lunch in 2005 = I had my lunch a few hours back
This code was written in 14th century = Its very very old code
I had sent the mail in 1966 = I had sent the email a long back
I have been asking for these documents since 1945! = I have been asking for these documents since a long time

A person would bathe with this much water
When I see someone wasting water on something, I use this

The amount of water you used to wash this glass, someone could have bathed with it!
A buffalo could have bathed with the water you used to wash your face/hair/handkerchief or whatever!

You will send me to a village
I use this on my team members. I use this to signify that what they are doing is important. So important that if they fail, I would have to close the company and go to some village and do farming. It makes more sense when said in Hindi.

बेटा अगर ये server पे फटा ना, तो हम दोनोंको गांव जाना पडेगा!
(If this goes wrong on the server, we both will have to go to a village!)

सचीन, लातुर / झुमरीतलैया / जौनपुर का दो टिकीट ला भाई, आज ये गांव भेजने वाला है!
(Sachin, bring two tickets for Latur / Jhumritalaiya / Jaunpur. This guys is going to send us to a village today!)

There are some more… will write about them when I remember.