Yashventures

Missing somebody?…… Call

Wanna meet up?….. Invite

Wanna be understood?… Explain

Have questions?…. Ask

Don’t like something?.. Say it

Like something?…. State it

Want something?…. Ask for it

Love someone?…. Tell it

Courtesy: 9gag

Choosing a DTH provider in India is tougher than choosing a spouse. I have had a Full HD 32″ LCD TV for a year but I was still running on the old cable connection. Finally I thought it’s time to move on. Main lure was the presence of HD channels. Lots of channels are now available in High Definition and I also wanted a DVR to be able to record shows and pause live TV. So I began hunting for a DTH service.

I had following options to choose from

TataSky
Dish TV
Airtel Digital TV
Reliance Big TV
Videocon D2H
Sun Direct DTH

First I asked my cable guy if they have a Set top box. They do have but it’s not HD and no DVR so it was out of contention. Hathway Cable has started HD services but they are not available in my locality. (Cable guys have divided areas amongst themselves to avoid competition)

Dish and TataSky are oldest in India. Airtel, Reliance, Videocon and Sun are new and boast of MPEG-4 compression which seemingly has better quality over MPEG-2 of the older players. So At first I decided to only look at the four new players.

Sun is strong in south but their HD offerings were least exciting. Their web site is also enough to put someone off instantly. So that was out immediately.

Reliance is boasting of providing 250 HD channels but all of them are upscaled. The real HD channels are only 6 whereas Airtel and Videocon have 10 and 11 respectively. So the choice was quickly narrowed down to Airtel and Videocon.

I was more interested in English movies and infotainment channels like Discovery and Nat Geo. Videocon had more HD channels that mattered to me. Airtel didn’t have ESPN, Star Cricket and Travel XP in HD instead they had UTV stars and History TV. Videocon didn’t have History TV in HD but had the other three. The main lure was Travel XP, because I had seen that one at a hotel and instantly liked it. Only Videocon and Dish TV carry Travel XP at the moment. Videocon had the best price. Their highest package (Platinum+HD) included all their channels and HD for Rs. 441 per month and even less if I prepaid for entire year. The same thing was costing Rs.486 at Airtel where HD had to be bought separately and all HD channels were not part of that bouquet. Videocon only had a 160 GB hard disk in the DVR against 320 GB of Airtel but I thought I could live with that.

Meanwhile I also checked out TataSky and Dish TV. Dish didn’t really have too much to offer in HD department and they didn’t have a HD DVR either (at least I couldn’t find one on their site) besides Dish’s highest plan was at 550 something so I put a cross mark against it. Then I looked at TataSky. They had 8 HD channels. The 3 missing ones were Colors, Movies Now and Travel XP. Missing Movies Now HD was a huge minus for me. TataSky was the first to introduce DVR in India and they have the largest capacity disk on DVR – 500 GB which can record 700 hours of SD programming. That was huge and they had a super annual package that included all of the channels including HD for one year and a fixed price for the entire year. Any new channels added in the next year will be part of this package as well. That was a huge advantage, but videocon was still cheaper and had two HD channels that I cared about – MoviesNow and TravelXP.

So I decided to go with Videocon. I went online to purchase and boom! The HD DVR was no longer available! I called the customer support to enquire for the same, the guy put me hold for 10 minutes and the call dropped. That kind of put me off. Next day I got a call from them and I was told the HD DVR is now available only in Mumbai so they have taken it off website and are selling it only in cash. I didn’t like it. I weighed different options again and once again came to the conclusion that Videocon was best. So I was ready to buy it. Then I decided to check out their Facebook account. And over there I read a comment from someone about History TV not being available! I knew History was not available in HD but not at all?? What the hell!!

History channel was recently relaunched and rebranded as History TV 18 and had some kick ass shows like Ice Road Truckers and was an absolute must! Even my cable guy provided it! Now this was too much. Videocon didn’t have a great website, DVR was not available online, customer support didn’t really look that good and the DVR had only 160 GB storage. Videocon was cancelled and I went back to drawing board. Now the choice was between Airtel and TataSky. I had called TataSky and confirmed, they too had switched to MPEG-4. Airtel had better HD package but was expensive, TataSky had a larger capacity disk and on the online forums I read they had been adding new HD channels regularly over last couple of months. Two months back they didn’t even have these many HD channels. They are slow in adding channels but they do add. And with the Mega Lite pack that I was considering I would get them all at no extra cost. TataSky also has a service called Video On Demand where I can connect the box to Internet and I can download videos, even movies and shows from the past 5 days and I would have ample space to store all the content. At this point I think its a unique feature provided only by TataSky.

So TataSky it was. TataSky+ HD to be specific. I paid Rs. 10,200 for which I got HD DVR with 500 GB hard disk, full year subscription for the Mega Lite pack which included all channels carried by TataSky including HD, 12 showcase movies and 1 year subscription to BusinessWorld magazine. And under a special offer I got 500 Rs. credit in my account. Paid it yesterday, and it was installed at my home today morning.

And I am loving it already! The HD clarity is awesome! Finally my HD TV is doing what it was supposed to do! The DVR is perfect, I have already set it up to record a couple of movies that will be telecast today. They have an app for Android phones where by I can give instructions to record any program from anywhere. In fact I set up one of the movies to be recorded from my mobile. Videocon and Airtel have such programs too but TataSky’s app is most polished and slick amongst all.

I am happy with my decision. Having a couple more HD channels would have been great but I am sure they will be added soon.

Isko laga dala to life jhingalala!

I stumbled upon this image and I posted it on Facebook.

Somebody suggested a program should be made from it. What could be a better way to kill some time on Sunday for an atheist programmer? So a bit of jQuery and some image hunting and a program was ready.

Choose Your Path

The time consuming part was looking for images and symbols. And the funniest part was about the magical underwear question. Mormons have something called as temple clothing which is kind of underwear they are required to wear.

Rockstar is the movie of the year! It’s the best of what Bollywood had on offer in 2011 so far. Mind you it’s not your typical Bollywood masala movie. It’s different. It does not have a happy ending, it doesn’t even have a sad ending, in fact it does not have any conclusive ending. Much like the real life.

Rockstar is a story of a guy who yearns to be a rockstar and when he attains the name, fame and money he always wanted, he is no longer able to enjoy it! Reason? He is in love and the girl he loves is already married to someone else. The girl also loves him, they meet and they do things they both know they should not be doing, but they don’t care. They can’t help themselves. The girl, afraid of the societal repercussions of their relationship forces the guy to be away from her and the guy leaves. He rises to the heights he had imagined but he is not happy, there’s something burning inside him. He misses her.

The rockstar turns exceedingly moody and erratic. He attacks media, slaps policemen, does not turn up for scheduled live performances, he is sued, thrown in jail…it all happens to him. Media glorifies him negatively which only adds to his fan following. It all happens because he is not able to be with the girl he is madly in love with!

Imtiaz Ali has a common theme in his movies – people fall in love but they don’t understand or know that they are in love. It happens in Socha Na Tha with Abhay Deol and Ayesha Takia, happens with Kareena Kapoor in Jab We Met and with Saif Ali Khan and Deepika Padukone in Love Aaj Kal where Saif’s character isn’t able to understand the reason of his depression and Deepika realises it on the first day after her marriage. Something similar happens in Rockstar as well but the story, characters and the narrative are different.

As I mentioned, the movie is not a typical Bollywood movie where the Hero and Heroine unite at the end after all the hardships and they live happily ever after. This movie does not have a definitive conclusion. You don’t know whether the Heroine dies, they two don’t reunite, the Hero doesn’t go insane. The story just ends like in real life.

What makes the movie tick are three things – A. R. Rahman’s music, Mohit Chauhan’s vocals AND Ranbir Kapoor’s acting. Boy Ranbir has grown into a superb actor! He own the character, the passion he brings in his onstage performances, the madness he portrays, the love, the rage he puts in his character makes the character very much believable and likable. It’s a sad movie out and out. But not a drop of tear is shed by Jordan (the rockstar Ranbir plays) during the entire movie except at the end. The rockstar vents his sorrow and frustration not with tears but with his performance on stage.

It’s a journey and the lyrics are just so apt for the situations -

Oh eco friendly, nature ke rakshak, main bhi hoon nature
rivajo se, samajo se kyu kate mujhe, kyu bate mujhe is tarah

Another one -

Kaaga re kaaga re more, itni araj mori chun chun khaiyo maas
Khaiyo na do naina more, khaiyo na do naina more, jiya ke milan ki aas

I can’t put into words the feelings behind those words. When you see Ranbir Kapoor singing them on screen with Rahman’s music and Mohit’s vocals and you know the back story, you get sucked into the soul of the song. You feel euphoric with Sadda Haq and feel for the two lovers with Nadaan Parinde. It’s a different experience.

One word on Nargin Fakhri – she looks pretty and ravishing. It’s understandable why she was cast to play Heer cause we need a justifiable reason to explain Jordan’s love and want for her. She can make any man insane. Although she is not very strong on the acting part – looks stone faced at times – but she performs her part well. There’s not much to do for her in the film and her character is not fully developed either. Star of the show is undoubtedly Ranbir.

I will be really disappointed if Rahman, Mohit, Ranbir and Imtiaz don’t get rewarded with awards in their respective categories next year. This movie is something different, and I highly recommend it to everybody.

However one note of caution: not everyone will like it because it is not a masala entertainer like Salman’s movies. It is not absurd like Akshay Kumar’s films, it does not have SRKesque romance, nor does it have a meaningful message like Aamir’s movies and a conclusive story and heartwarming moments like Rajkumar Hirani’s films. This is one film where the story and the conclusion doesn’t matter, it’s the narrative that you enjoy.

I would give it 4 stars out of 5.

Couple of days back I was traveling in the train and I saw a middle aged man around 50. He was weary and visibly poor and he was holding a yellow bag in his right hand and had prayer beads inside it. He was reciting something…constantly. I kind of pitied that man. He probably had no hope in life and his only chance was his false hope of divine intervention. What a waste.

Yesterday I saw a man outside a Hanuman temple, he was bent down and touching and retouching the very last step of the temple….again and again.

It’s sad what religion makes people do.

Those actions are meaningless. And that is the sad part. People perform those actions believing it will serve a purpose but it does not. People spend time and money on those actions which is completely fruitless.

Watching a movie, reading a book, going to toilet, chatting with friends, playing with pets, watching birds/sunset all these actions have at least some reason, some benefit, some point. We do it for entertainment, relaxation, gaining knowledge or just to have some good time. And they do serve that intended purpose.

But religious actions, they do not serve the intended purpose. They don’t even cause the placebo effect. You can not cure decreases with prayers. One can not improve the financial situation with chants. Mannat (Asking something from god and promising to give something in return) can not make you successful in exams or solve your marital woes or give you a baby. Those are fruitless actions.

Its is wrong to believe and engage in futile activities because they become more sinister over a period of time. Like the woman who sacrificed her stepson so she could bear a child of her own. That too was a matter of faith and belief. People actually believe they get 72 virgins for killing people who do not share their belief. It’s all matter of faith. And they are all dangerous and wasteful.

Religions and a belief in super natural are a waste of time, money, intellect and human life!

There are two types of people

1) Those who just perform their biological functions – eating, reproducing and dying – the majority

2) Those who invent new things or new ways of doing things, they change the world, they change the way the majority lives. They are obviously the miniscule minority.

wheel, fire, weapons, farming
steam power, electricity, assembly line
trading, advertising, discounting
gravity, relativity, evolution
printing, telegraph, radio, television, telephone, phonograph
decimal system, zero, binary, transistors, C++, Internet, Google, Facebook

Awesome inventions! They have made the lives of the category 1 people worth living.

So far I belong to category 1.

So you are a programmer, work whole day in front of a computer, do your shopping online, pay your bills online and file your IT return online and so you thought you will also be able to renew your passport online? Ha ha ha come back to the real world dumbass!

You think you are very smart and you will be able to save some time and not have to stand in a queue by filling a passport application form online? No you idiot! There’s no escaping the queues. It doesn’t matter if we let you fill a form online and give you a date and time to come and submit your papers. It doesn’t matter whether we write on our website that you can submit your application anywhere – a regional passport office or a passport application collection center. You have to somehow magically figure it out that we accept it only at our regional passport office and boo ya if you ended up visiting your nearest collection center and wasting your appointment and time.

You see you IT type people really think you can do everything online and electronically like they do in the west and think you will be able to save your precious time. Huh! NO my boy! This is India and we are public servants – heck we are public’s masters, YOU are our servants. We will make you feel as miserable as we can before we will do anything for you get that?

So if you wanna file your damn application at this center come at 7 in the morning, stand in a queue for a couple of hours, at 9 we will give out only 50 tokens and then entertain only those lucky few. If you aren’t one of them, screw you. Get lost and come back tomorrow.

Whatever is written on this URL about online application procedure is bullshit. Come on dude, you are 30 and you have been living in this country for as long, you gotta see this coming. Don’t be so naive!

Listen we really don’t give a fuck about the value of your time. Man, value of time? Where did you hear that term? At some comedy show? See we are stuck here in this mundane job and we will be doing this for the rest of our life so don’t bother us with all those rosy notions of yours. The rules are written on the notice board, read them and fuck off.

That’s my experience with trying to file my passport application online. I had gotten my passport when I was 15. Now I want to change my photo, address and signature on my passport. I landed up on India Passport’s website  and was delighted to know the procedure can be done online.

I filled up the form, I got a date and time to visit a passport office and submit my papers. I collected all papers and today on my appointed date and time visited the nearest passport application collection center at Kandivali. There I was told it is accepted at Worli not there. If I want to submit it there I have to come at 9 and get a token. That’s it. No arguments. We don’t know what is written on the site. Read the notice board and come later. Some other people told me the queue for tokens begins to form at 7 and they give only 50 tokens.

So much for online procedure!

We in India are moving procedures online and making everything “e” only for the sake of it. E-Governance is a hogwash. Pure bullshit! You want to file IT return online? File the return, download a file and send it by post to Bangalore. When was the last time you sent something by post? I don’t even know where the nearest letterbox is. You don’t want to send it by post then sign it digitally. How do you sign it digitally? You need a digital signature. How to get a digital signature? That’s an offline procedure.

You want to get a marriage certificate? Visit the local municipal office, stand in a queue for a couple of hours, they give you a date after one month. Visit on that date, stand in the queue again for a couple of hours and then they do your procedure and you are told to come again after 15 days to collect your certificate. And when you go to collect the certificate once again stand in a queue, give some chai pani (bribe) and get your certificate! The story is same if you want a ration card, a shop and establishment license, an import export code or anything! Queues, queues and more queues.

Heck even at private establishments the things aren’t ahy better. I needed my signature verification done from my bank which unfortunately is Axis Bank. I visited them last Saturday for the purpose. I was asked to come on Monday. I went on Tuesday morning, I was told the system is down please come at 3. I went back at 3, the lady whom I was interacting with had gone for lunch. I waited 20 minutes and finally got my letter. Axis Bank does not have a set lunch time for the staff so they have to squeeze it in between the working hours. And customers have to wait.

So literally nobody in India gives a fuck about others’ time. Really we Indians just do not value time. We have accepted queues as part of life. Train tickets, movie tickets, bus stand, auto stand, air port security check, store checkout counters, places of worship….queues are everywhere. Heck I have even seen a queue outside jewellery shops! Indians stand in a queue even to buy gold! Even processes that seem online have an offline component. If you buy movie ticket online, you still have to get the actual ticket that will allow you entry in the hall from the ticket counter for which you have to stand in the queue.

Online passport application….yeah right!

I am part of Mumbai Freethinkers, Mumbai chapter of Nirmukta an organisation that promotes scientific thinking and rationality in India. We had organised an eye donation camp on Sunday 16 October and Dr. Mayur Morekar, a fellow freethinker gave an awesome presentation about the benefits of eye donation and gave some useful tips for protecting our eyes.

Key points of the talk:

A. Eye Donation.

1. Individuals of any age can donate the eyes. The donor may be a just born neonate or a 100 year old adult. Anyone, even people who have undergone cataract surgery, LASIK surgery, spectacle wearers, and diabetics can also pledge to donate their eyes.

2. A single individual’s eyes can help up to 4-6 people. Different layers of the two corneas and parts of sclerae of the 2 eyes can potentially save the structure and provide sight to upto 6 different people.

3. The procedure takes only 15 minutes. In most instances the entire eye is not removed. Only the cornea which is the outermost part is removed and small guaze  balls are placed and the eyelids are closed. There is no damage to the face. Externally it would be difficult to tell that the eyes have been donated.

4. In case of an urgent call for eye donation for our beloved ones, dial 1919 to connect to the nearest eye bank. Eye bank personnel would visit our homes and do the needful within half an hour of reaching our homes.

5. Eyes have to be removed within 6 hours of the death and transplanted to the recipient within 96 hours.

6. India has tremendous shortage of corneas, so everyone must donate their eyes.

B. How can one prevent an eye infection?

One of the commonest reasons for corneal blindness in India is infection.

1. If you feel something is in the eye; DO NOT rub the eye, let it tear and visit an eye surgeon.

2. Do not be your own doctor and do not try over the counter eye drops from a local chemist. Eyes are too precious. Do not neglect them; go see an eye specialist immediately in case of injury to the eyes.

3. Be extremely meticulous while wearing and removing contact lenses. Make sure you do not scratch your eye while removing or inserting the contact lens. DO NOT share contact lenses, clean them regularly with the contact lens solution provided.

C. Tips for people who work long hours in front of computer

1. Take short breaks after every 30 – 40 minutes and look at distance, out of an open window or down a long corridor as far as possible for a minute or two.

2. Remember to blink when you are in front of a computer screen. The blink rate drops from normal of about 18 times per minute, to as low as only thrice every minute. Try to keep your blink rate as close to normal while on computers

3. Maintain the computer monitor 20 degrees below eye level.

4. Use an anti-glare screen monitor.

Here is a program that will remind you to take a break on a Windows computer – http://themech.net/eyesrelax/

D. Some myths about eye numbers

Eye numbers in a child depend on two factors – length of the eye and the shape of the cornea. And in a child the eye number will change with age till they stabilize when the growth of the child stabilizes between 18-22 years of age. So don’t scold your child if he/she gets glasses and expect the eye numbers to change as the child grows; till it stabilizes. Having glasses is not really your or your child’s fault.

LASIK surgery to get rid of glasses is advisable only when the numbers stabilize and remain stable for a year.

Finally Dr. Mayur R. Moreker spoke a few minutes on the realization of his passion to be a Martial Arts Student touching upon the innovative concept of training the visually impaired in Martial Arts at Aatish Academy For Performing X-treme Arts, Andheri, Mumbai

Attendees dispersed after pledging their eyes for donation.

Dr. Mayur R. Moreker is a Consultant Eye Surgeon, Specialist in Ocular Inflammation, Immunology, Uveitis, Eye Infections, Cornea, Ocular Surface Disorders and Complicated Cataract Surgeries and a Personal Counselor at
Bombay Hospital & Medical Research Centre, Mumbai and an
X-treme Martial Arts Student at Aatish Academy For Performing X-treme Arts, Mumbai.
He can be reached on +91 9820308358 or eyeinflammation at gmail dot com

I have been an ICICI customer since 2003. I have been using their ebill pay facility for many years now and never had any problems but off late I am having so many issues its just too much! The problems started when my registered billers suddenly failed to get paid a few months back. I was surprised when one month my electricity bill came with a warning, I checked and found my LIC premiums weren’t paid and my electricity bill wasn’t paid either. I had no idea what was wrong, so I deleted the biller and added a new one. In the meanwhile I made payment of the LIC premium from LIC’s portal and after a week or so ICICI charged my card again for the premium! So I ended up paying that month’s premium twice and that too with penalties!!

This time around I went in and deleted the scheduled LIC premium since the last premium was paid twice. It went well on the scheduled payment date and today I got a message saying my card was charged for that missed premium with penalty!!! W H A T   T H E   F U C K!

I have removed all my billers from ICICI now and am adding them in Visa bill pay. At least they do not charge my card automatically!

I don’t know if this something unique to us Indians or this is a human nature. I haven’t been amongst any other group of people so I can only comment about us Indians.

I find we Indians lack conscience. In our daily life we do so many things without thinking of others.

We Indians go to a mall’s food court and we occupy seats even though we have no intention to eat anything. And we see people around us running from here and there with trays and plates in hand trying to find a chair. Especially young couples and college kids are often found sitting chit chatting and hogging the chairs.

Then there is irresponsible parking. People really don’t think about others while parking their own vehicles. They don’t really think that they are wasting a scarce resource, albeit temporarily.

We waste resources – all types of resources – electricity, water, land, fuel everything.

And then there’s corruption. Corruption is not limited to a government official demanding bribe to perform his duty. Its about anything that goes against the law. We jump signals, we travel without proper tickets, we do not pay proper taxes and when caught we try to bribe our way out.

The builder of the mall where I have my office suddenly blocked the basement parking and started selling it even though it is completely illegal. His defense – everybody does it, so I will also do it. We Indians spit and throw garbage on the roads and when confronted we have the standard answer – “Everybody does it.”

Why? Why does everybody do it? Why people don’t care about others? May be it is in the genes. Jiski lathi uski bhains, survival of the fittest. Is that the mantra?

I know hoping for a fair world is too much. Hoping for people to care for others is just asking of too much off them. A fair world is an utopia possible only in communist manifestos, not in the real world.