PK, OMG and atheism in Indian movies

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PK, OMG and atheism in Indian movies

Atheism is seldom represented in Indian movies. A couple of movies in the 80s like Deewar and Nastik showed the protagonist not believing in god but it was more like the hero was angry with god and wasn’t on talking terms to him but eventually turned around by the end of the movie. That isn’t atheism.

Rockstar – transformation of a regular guy to a devil may care rockstar!

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Rockstar is the movie of the year! It’s the best of what Bollywood had on offer in 2011 so far. Mind you it’s not your typical Bollywood masala movie. It’s different. It does not have a happy ending, it doesn’t even have a sad ending, in fact it does not have any conclusive ending. Much like the real life.

Rockstar is a story of a guy who yearns to be a rockstar and when he attains the name, fame and money he always wanted, he is no longer able to enjoy it! Reason? He is in love and the girl he loves is already married to someone else. The girl also loves him, they meet and they do things they both know they should not be doing, but they don’t care. They can’t help themselves. The girl, afraid of the societal repercussions of their relationship forces the guy to be away from her and the guy leaves. He rises to the heights he had imagined but he is not happy, there’s something burning inside him. He misses her.

The rockstar turns exceedingly moody and erratic. He attacks media, slaps policemen, does not turn up for scheduled live performances, he is sued, thrown in jail…it all happens to him. Media glorifies him negatively which only adds to his fan following. It all happens because he is not able to be with the girl he is madly in love with!

Imtiaz Ali has a common theme in his movies – people fall in love but they don’t understand or know that they are in love. It happens in Socha Na Tha with Abhay Deol and Ayesha Takia, happens with Kareena Kapoor in Jab We Met and with Saif Ali Khan and Deepika Padukone in Love Aaj Kal where Saif’s character isn’t able to understand the reason of his depression and Deepika realises it on the first day after her marriage. Something similar happens in Rockstar as well but the story, characters and the narrative are different.

As I mentioned, the movie is not a typical Bollywood movie where the Hero and Heroine unite at the end after all the hardships and they live happily ever after. This movie does not have a definitive conclusion. You don’t know whether the Heroine dies, they two don’t reunite, the Hero doesn’t go insane. The story just ends like in real life.

What makes the movie tick are three things – A. R. Rahman’s music, Mohit Chauhan’s vocals AND Ranbir Kapoor’s acting. Boy Ranbir has grown into a superb actor! He own the character, the passion he brings in his onstage performances, the madness he portrays, the love, the rage he puts in his character makes the character very much believable and likable. It’s a sad movie out and out. But not a drop of tear is shed by Jordan (the rockstar Ranbir plays) during the entire movie except at the end. The rockstar vents his sorrow and frustration not with tears but with his performance on stage.

It’s a journey and the lyrics are just so apt for the situations –

Oh eco friendly, nature ke rakshak, main bhi hoon nature
rivajo se, samajo se kyu kate mujhe, kyu bate mujhe is tarah

Another one –

Kaaga re kaaga re more, itni araj mori chun chun khaiyo maas
Khaiyo na do naina more, khaiyo na do naina more, jiya ke milan ki aas

I can’t put into words the feelings behind those words. When you see Ranbir Kapoor singing them on screen with Rahman’s music and Mohit’s vocals and you know the back story, you get sucked into the soul of the song. You feel euphoric with Sadda Haq and feel for the two lovers with Nadaan Parinde. It’s a different experience.

One word on Nargin Fakhri – she looks pretty and ravishing. It’s understandable why she was cast to play Heer cause we need a justifiable reason to explain Jordan’s love and want for her. She can make any man insane. Although she is not very strong on the acting part – looks stone faced at times – but she performs her part well. There’s not much to do for her in the film and her character is not fully developed either. Star of the show is undoubtedly Ranbir.

I will be really disappointed if Rahman, Mohit, Ranbir and Imtiaz don’t get rewarded with awards in their respective categories next year. This movie is something different, and I highly recommend it to everybody.

However one note of caution: not everyone will like it because it is not a masala entertainer like Salman’s movies. It is not absurd like Akshay Kumar’s films, it does not have SRKesque romance, nor does it have a meaningful message like Aamir’s movies and a conclusive story and heartwarming moments like Rajkumar Hirani’s films. This is one film where the story and the conclusion doesn’t matter, it’s the narrative that you enjoy.

I would give it 4 stars out of 5.

Harry Potter in a nutshell

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With Harry Potter series’ last movie out some people may still not have an idea what all the hoopla is about. Here’s the story of the seven Harry Potter books in a nutshell. I have only covered the juice of the story. A quick five minute read of the Harry Potter saga.

There are seven books in the series, first six books tell the story of one year of Harry’s life at Hogwarts. He doesn’t return to the school in the seventh book.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone
Harry Potter an orphan boy comes to know on his 10th birthday that he is a wizard. He is invited to a school for magical kids – Hogwarts. He also comes to know that when he was a toddler a very powerful wizard named Voldemort killed his parents and also tried to kill him. However, Voldemort’s magical spell rebounded on himself and his body was destroyed leaving only his soul. Harry survived and that made him famous in the wizarding world. Harry befriends Hermoine Granger and Ron Weasley at Hogwarts. Voldemort tries to get the Philosopher’s Stone which can bring him back to material form. Harry foils his plan and Voldemort has to vanish again.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
One of Voldemort’s followers (also known as Death Eaters) gives a diary to Ginny Weasley, sister of Ron Weasley. The diary belongs to Tom Marvolo Riddle who is Voldemort. Through the diary Voldemort posses Ginny and she opens a secret chamber which has a very large snake known as Basilisk which can kill anyone merely by looking in to his/her eyes. Harry manages to kill the Basilisk and save Ginny. He also destroys Tom Riddle’s diary in the process.

 

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
A mysterious man named Sirius Black escapes from the wizard jail Azkaban. He was Harry’s parents’ friend and Harry believes it was Black who told Voldemort about Harry’s parents hiding place and was instrumental in getting them killed. However Black was a loyal friend of the Potters and it was another friend named Peter Pettigrew (also known as Wormtail) who actually betrayed them. Pettigrew was hiding as a pet mouse for Ron Weasley so that he could spy on Harry on behalf of Voldemort. When caught, Pettigrew runs away.

 

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
A magical tournament named the Tri-Wizard Tournament is held at Hogwarts involving three wizarding schools. Harry’s name is mysteriously entered in the tournament even though he is underage for the tournament. Harry manages to go through the levels of the tournament with suggestions from his friends and a teacher named Professor Moody. Harry and a fellow Hogwarts student Cedric Diggory make it to the final level and suddenly then Wormtail and other Death Eaters appear with Voldemort who is in mere flesh form. They perform magical ritual to bring Voldemort into material form. Pettigrew kills Cedric. Harry manages to escape with Cedrik’s body and informs everyone of Voldemort’s return.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
The magical world doesn’t believe Harry about Voldemort’s return. Ministry of magic appoints Dolores Umbridge as High Inquistor at Hogwarts who forbids many things at school and makes life difficult for students and teachers. Harry forms a secret group called Dumbuldore’s army (Dumbuldore is the headmaster of Hogwarts) with his friends and teaches them magic that Umbridge has banned from school in order to protect themselves from the looming danger. Harry finds a prophecy that states either he will kill Voldemort or Voldemort will kill him. One of them has to die.

 

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
In his sixth year at Hogwarts Harry finds a book which earlier belonged to one half blood prince. The book helps Harry excel through his academics. Harry also starts feeling a connection with Voldemort. He can read Voldemort’s mind and vice versa. Harry comes to know that Voldemort has hidden pieces of his soul in seven objects called Horcruxes and he can not die till all the Horcruxes are destroyed. Two of the Horcruxes have already been destroyed one being Tom Riddle’s diary in the second year. Harry goes on a hunt to find and destroy remaining Horcruxes with Ron and Hermoine.

 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Harry manages to destroy all but two Horcruxes and comes to know that he himself is one of the Horcruxes because he was the only living thing present when Voldemort was destroyed so one piece of Voldemprt’s soul attached itself to Harry. In order to destroy that soul Harry has to be killed by Voldemort. Voldemort attacks Hogwarts and an epic battle ensues between Harry’s friends and supporters and those of Voldemort’s. Harry and Voldemort face one another where Voldemort attacks Harry with a killing spell which instead of killing Harry kills Voldemort’s soul inside him. Harry’s friend Naville kills Voldemort’s snake Nagini which was the last horcrux and Voldemort dies in a battle with Harry.

 

This is the summary of the “what” part of the story. The “how” part is what you get to see in the movies and read in the books. There are many sub plots and side stories. There are elaborate back stories of the characters and there are many characters. I have only covered Harry and Voldemort, two characters here but the story is incomplete without Ron, Hermoine, Dumbuldore, Hagrid, Snape, Weasley family and many more. A more detailed summary can be read here.

Harry Potter is recommended to everyone.

Tees Maar Khan – Stay AWAY from it!

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For once I agree with Raja Sen. My opinion of a movie is often against his. I usually enjoy the movie he gives poor ratings to and the movies he likes, I find boring. But for TMK, I think we are on the same page. Tees Maar Khan is a monstrosity! They should have just played Sheela Ki Jawani in loop for two hours and that would have been more entertaining. You get to know the entire plot of the movie in first 10 minutes and you know what’s going to happen next!

Akshay Kumar is so freaking loud! And his sidekicks are even louder!! Farah Khan has messed up big time this time. Shah Rukh Khan should actually thank Farah for not casting him in this dud! This is a sort of movie only Akshay Kumar can fit in. There are no positives about the movie. It has some funny moments and classic Farah homage to old movies but we have seen that all in Main Hoon Na and Om Shanti Om. I was expecting something better from Farah this time. This is a David Dhawan type comedy where the laughter is forced by introducing funny dialogs rather than funny situations! But again David and Govinda do a better job at that than what Farah and Akshay have managed to! Kadar Khan would write better dialogs than “*Beep* ki Lutti Izzat…”

Where is Katrina Kaif by the way? Apart from Sheela ki Jawani she is no where to be found! Aman Varma and Murli Sharma as gay CBI agents have better and longer roles than Kat! Akshay Khanna does his best at acting stupid and succeeds! And songs? Boy Farah’s movies always had chart buster songs. That’s completely missing! The only notable song is Sheela ki Jawani the rest are painful to sit through!

I wouldn’t blame Farah for the debacle. I’d blame Shirish Kunder! That guy’s everywhere. He has written the story, lyrics, dialogs. He’s the editor, he has given background score and also music for Sheela Ki Jawani. The best part of the movie was the after movie credits section where the entire team collects their “Oscar”. And Shirish appears after every two awards! You finally know the movie has come to an end!

If these Hollywood movies were made in India – 1

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What if these movies were made in India?

Lord of the Rings
There would be an item song in the mount Doom just before the climax! Frodo and Sam would enter the party disguised as gypsy ladies. Aragon would have followed with a damroo.
The cast would be –
Frodo: Aamir Khan – perfect to play a hobbit, he would actually grow hair on his legs!!
Sam: Ritesh Deskmukh
Aragon: Anil Kapoor
Gandalf: Boman Irani
Legolas: Ranbir Kapoor
Gimli: Rajpal Yadav
Sauron: Amrish Puri/Shakti Kapoor
Casting coup – Gollum: Kamal Rashid Khan aka KRK!

KingKong
First of all the KingKong wouldn’t have died at the end of the movie. Hindi movie heros don’t die, unless there are two of them vying for a single woman. Either KingKong will become a man or Ann Darrow would become a lady Gorilla by the grace of some baba or some Devi. A Romantic duet of Kong and Ms Darrow in the alps would surely be there.
Cast –
KingKong: Sunil Shetty or Sunny Deol
Ann Darrow: Any pretty lady would do
Carl Denham: Nana Patekar
Jack Driscoll: Salman Khan/Shahrukh Khan if he is going to get the girl or any lesser hero who can be killed by Kong.

300
This got to be a Rajnikanth movie and to be renamed “1”. You get the point!

Star Wars
Classic epic. Luke Skywalker would have written on his hand, “Mera baap kala hai” – My father’s on the dark side! Padme Amidala wouldn’t die. In the end there would be a happy reunion of the family and after killing the Sith lord they would rule the galaxy together.
Cast:
Darth Vedar: Amitabh Bachchan
Luke Skywalker: Abhishek Bachchan
Han Solo: Anil Kapoor
Casting coup – Jabba The Hutt: Bappi Lahiri!!

Matrix
Ram Gopal Verma to direct it. To be named Ram Gopal Verma ki Matrix! He’d be the only one understanding the story.
Cast –
Neo – Manoj Bajpai
Trinity – Nisha or Priyanka or whatever-her-name-is Kothari
Morpheus – Mohanlal
Casting coup – Persephone – Mallika Sherawat

to be continued…

Watchmen

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Watched the movie watchmen last night. Kind of heavy stuff. Not a regular super hero movie. I was expecting a typical super heroes v/s super villain, hero kicks ass kind of stuff. But it was different. Interesting twist at the end. Sacrificing millions to save billions. A bit too far fetched but hey its fiction after all isn’t it?

Did some Wikipedia reading later and found it’s directed by Zack Snyder, the guy who directed 300.

Khatta Meetha is very khatta – not recommended

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There is less of Meetha and mostly Khatta with Khatta Meetha. I am disappointed with the movie. Priyadarshan has lost it this time. He couldn’t decide whether he’s making a comedy or a realistic movie. The movie is marketed as a funny one and that’s what I was expecting. Light entertainment. The movie turned out to be realistic. And brutal. Its going smooth till the Interval but then it just becomes too heavy. It’s a sad movie. Akshay Kumar plays a common man literally and there is absolutely no heroism! The movie talks about corruption and crime and all and you just wait for something to happen. The way the movie is marketed, you’d expect the hero would pull some trick out of his hat. But nothing of that sort happens and you return empty handed.

When was the last time we saw hero’s sister getting raped by the villain? Yes it is there in this movie. And at least you’d still expect the hero would in the end beat the crap out of the bad guys. But that does not happen. Priyan showed a common man who is just helpless against all the forces. That’s NOT what I was expecting from the movie!

I’d give it 1 Star out of 5.

Bollywood Leagues

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Diwali weekend, noting much to do so I made up a list of Bollywood stars and put them in different leagues.

Three movies have released this Diwali, I want to watch Blue.

Guys

A+ League – They are the kings, the movie is sold on their name
Shahrukh Khan
Aamir Khan
Akshay Kumar
Hritik Roshan
Amitabh Bachchan
Salman Khan – This man has to watch out, a couple more flops and he will be out of this league.

A League – They are bankable and the movie can still be sold on their names. But they do a better job when paired.

Saif Ali Khan – A couple more solo hits and this guy can move to the A League
Shahid Kapoor
John Abraham
Abhishek Bachchan
Sanjay Dutt
Ajay Devgan
Ranbir Kapoor
Neil Nitin Mukesh

B League – They manage to play a solo hero, villain or an important side kick

Imran Khan – Kidnap and Luck have broght him down here, he needs a another JTYJN to move back to A.
Ritesh Deshmukh – If Alladin works he may move up to A
Arshad Varsi
Vivek Oberoi
Arjun Rampal
Govinda
Akshay Khanna
Harman Baweja – Whats Your Rashee worked but the credit went to Priyanka, he needs a few more hits to prove himself.
Shreyas Talpade
R Madhvan
Farhan Akhtar

C League – They just add to the crowd, it doesn’t matter who you pick.

Sunil Shetty
Sharman Joshi
Aftab Shivdasani
Zayed Khan
Fardeen Khan
Tushar Kapoor
Kunal Khemu
Dino Morea
Arbaaz Khan
Sohail Khan

League of extra ordinary gentlemen – They can play the protagonist or can manage to grab attention wven while playing the sidekick.

Paresh Rawal
Irfan Khan
Vinay Pathak
Rajpal Yadav

Gals

A+ League

Aishwarya Rai Bachchan
Kareena Kapoor
Priyanka Chopra
Katrina Kaif

A League

Bipasha Basu
Deepika Padukone
Sonam Kapoor
Rani Mukharji
Kajol
Vidya Balan

B League

Amrita Rao
Lara Dutta
Sushmita Sen
Priety Zinta
Anushka Sharma
Konkana Sen Sharma
Shilpa Shetty
Tabu

C League

Dia Mirza
Celina Jaitley
Amisha Patel
Mallika Sherawat
Neha Dhupia
Isha Kopikar
Esha Deol
Soha Ali Khan
Gul Panag
Shamita Shetty
Tanisha Mukherji
Sameera Reddy
Priyanka Kothari
Ayesha Takia

Item Girls

Rakhi Sawant – The one and only! This girl is in her own league. Love her or hate her but you can’t ignore her. She has come a long way. She’s the only one who appeared on Koffee with Karan and was interviewed in Hindi! NDTV Imagine bet its future on her Swayamvar.

Movies I’ve watched in the past couple of months

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Had a backlog of movies to watch and been on a movie watching spree for last couple of months both at home and in theatres.

Hindi (All in theatres)

Quick Gun Murugun
Love Aaj Kal
Whats Your rashee

English (All on comp courtesy BitTorrent :P )

Angels & Demons
Chronicles Of Narnia Prince Caspian
Hancock
I am Legend
Night At The Museum 2
Terminator Salvation
The Mummy 3
Wall-E
X-Men Origins Wolverine
Tremors
Tremors 2 – Aftershocks
Tremors 3 – Back to Perfection
Tremors 4 -  The Legend Begins
Ratatouille

Apart from these I also went through the re watch of the original Star Wars triology

Movies I liked the most – Wall-E and Wolverine

Still pending in the list

Rock n Rolla
The Dargeling Limited
Transformers 2
Harry Potter and the half blood prince

In Hindi – Wanted

Reruns

Star Wars 1-3
Harry Potter 1-5
Lord of the rings triology

Mind it (Tamil Bhangra) lyrics from Quick Gun Murugun

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Brrrrr chak de

Ho Maa kasam batata hoon suno na
Dhoondhe na mile aisa namoona

Sample hai ye for retail
Cent per cent he’s not for sale
Ladylog ko patata par usmein bilkul fail

Idli appam sambhar khao
Quick Gun Murugun ke gun gao
Ye hai rebel without a cow mind it…mind it mind it

Idli appam sambhar khao
Quick Gun Murugun ke gun gao
Dhishoon dhishoon aur Dhishkyaon yo mind it…mind it mind it

Aar tu taar tu aai bala ko taal tu
Iske yaar fande hai ghatiya aur faltu
Bheje ka noodle tera banega, isko agar tu chunega
Ekvede meter fail, ya tu murda ya fir jail
Ho mare na marta hai, peeche jo padat hai, chhode nahi sala

Idli appam sambhar khao
Quick Gun Murugun ke gun gao
Ye hai rebel without a cow mind it…mind it mind it

Easy easy brother nao
Apna pichhvada bajao
Dhishoon dhishoon aur Dhishkyaon yo mind it…mind it mind it

Hoooo kal, boot height mein, just like dad ye
Well toned body hai, just thoda fat re
Ho iske dikhave pe na jaana,
Item hai badaa ye sayana
Tum jo ser to ye sava ser,
Kat le pehle jo ho der
Ho mare na marta hai, peeche jo padat hai, chhode nahi sala

Idli appam sambhar khao
Quick Gun Murugun ke gun gao
Ye hai rebel without a cow mind it…mind it mind it

Easy easy brother nao
Apna pichhvada bajao
Dhishoon dhishoon aur Dhishkyaon yo mind it…mind it mind it

Kutta bhonke bhau bhau
Billi bole meow meow
Dhishoon dhishoon aur Dhishkyaon yo mind it…mind it mind it

Abe yaar Quick Gun hai, cowboy hai…excuse please!

****************

ब्र्ररररर चक दे

हो माँ कसम बताता हूँ सुनोना
ढूँढे ना मिले ऐसा नमूना

सैम्पल है ये फॉर रिटेल
सेंट पर सेंट ही’स नोट फॉर सेल
लेडी लोग को पटाता, पर उसमें बिलकुल फ़ेल

इडली अप्पम साम्भार खाओ
क्विक गन मुरुगन के गुण गाओ
ये है रेबेल विदाउट अ काऊ माइंड ईट…. माइंड ईट … माइंड ईट

इडली अप्पम साम्भार खाओ
क्विक गन मुरुगन के गुण गाओ
ढिशूम ढिशूम और ढिश्क्याओं यो माइंड ईट…. माइंड ईट … माइंड ईट

आर तु टार तु आई बाला को टाल तु
इसके यार फंडे हैं घटिया और फालतू
भेजे का नूडल तेरा बनेगा, इसको अगर तु चुनेगा
एकवेडे  मीटर फ़ेल, या तु मुर्दा या फिर जेल
हो मारे ना मरता है, पीछे जो पड़ता है, छोडे नहीं साला

इडली अप्पम साम्भार खाओ
क्विक गन मुरुगन के गुण गाओ
ये है रेबेल विदाउट अ काऊ माइंड ईट…. माइंड ईट … माइंड ईट

ईजी ईजी ब्रधर नाऊ
अपना पिछवाडा बजाओ
ढिशूम ढिशूम और ढिश्क्याओं यो माइंड ईट…. माइंड ईट … माइंड ईट

हो कल बूट टाईट्स में, जस्ट लाईक डैड ये
वेल टोन्ड बॉडी है, जस्ट थोडा फ़ेट रे
हो इसके दिखावे पे ना जाना, आइटम है बड़ा ये सयाना
तुम जो सेर तो ये सवा सेर, कट ले पहले जो हो देर
हो मारे ना मरता है, पीछे जो पड़ता है, छोडे नहीं साला

इडली अप्पम साम्भार खाओ
क्विक गन मुरुगन के गुण गाओ
ये है रेबेल विदाउट अ काऊ माइंड ईट…. माइंड ईट … माइंड ईट

ईजी ईजी ब्रधर नाऊ
अपना पिछवाडा बजाओ
ढिशूम ढिशूम और ढिश्क्याओं यो माइंड ईट…. माइंड ईट … माइंड ईट

कुत्ता भोंके भाऊँ भाऊँ
बिल्ली बोले म्याऊँ म्याऊँ
ढिशूम ढिशूम और ढिश्क्याओं यो माइंड ईट…. माइंड ईट … माइंड ईट

अबे यार क्विक गन है, काऊ बॉय है….एक्स्क्युस प्लीज़!