The business of taking offence

by Yash 0 Comments

We Indians are imbecile, immature, thin-skinned and just plain stupid. We take offence to anything and everything. Getting butt hurt over tiniest of issues is India’s national pastime. In House of Cards the producers can use the names of Republican and Democratic parties and no one bats an eyelid. If a political drama was to be made in India I doubt if anyone will dare use names of BJP and Congress. Here Shahrukh Khan had to drop “barber” from his film’s title, Maharashtrian Brahmins are unhappy with Sairat, Teli ka tel was replaced with Dilli ka tel in the song because the telis had an issue with it! Some or the other group in India has an issue with a movie, a book, a play, a song or some other form of art. And the creators often have to bend to the whims and fancies of such loonies.

Indias are just waiting to get offended. People even take offence to things that didn’t even involve them – like a bunch of celebrities getting together and abusing each other in front of a paying audience! And courts too are too eager to muzzle any voice which hurts the wafer thin sentiments of jobless jerks. Free speech inherently comes with the right to offend. Every joke is offensive. Whenever we laugh, we are making fun of somebody’s illogical actions or somebody’s misfortune. And the remedy to getting offended is very simple! Don’t watch the movie that offends you! Don’t read that blasphemous book! Don’t listen to the hurtful song! Just don’t participate in the activity which rankles your sensitive ass, instead of being an asshole!

We have startup India, clean up India. It’s time we also get Grow up India.

Idiot

by Yash 0 Comments

Hey you, yes you! If you really think some ball of gas or rock somewhere in the space affects your life in any way or you being born on a certain day after a certain number of days of some random point in human history and the assumed position of objects in space at that particular moment has any bearing on how your life will turn out to be or that you can somehow change all that by wearing some ornaments made of specific kind of material or doing silly things like throwing random stuff into fire and chanting loudly cryptic sounding nonsense, not a single word of which you understand…. then let me tell you, you are an idiot! Yes I D I O T, idiot.

Thank you.

Zombies do exist!

by Yash 1 Comment

I was watching We The People on NDTV yesterday and the topic of the debate was magic. Some people who claim to perform miracles including Yogi Ashwini were pitted against Narendra Nayak. Even though Narendra Nayak demonstrated some tricks like swallowing fire and conjuring up gold chains from thin air – the followers – the blind followers of the Yogi were unimpressed. Their argument – “So what if that is a trickery. That does not mean Our guru is fake!!” Really? Are you f-ing kidding me? Seriously?

And then there was this Miss India who claimed to be a skeptic and then said she had some stomach problem and her doctor father couldn’t understand what was wrong and she went to Yogi Ashwini and in 5 minutes she was all right! Lady you need psychiatric treatment!

If you believe some Babaji, Mataji, Guruji, Swamiji, Panditji or Shastriji will solve your problems in life and it involves saying some prayers, performing some dumb rituals, wearing some ring, locket or thread or other such mumbo jumbo, then – let me say it categorically – you are an idiot! A disgrace on human intellect! May be your brain has not evolved or you have just shut the doors to any reason or logic or may be you are just incapable of understanding basic science. In such a case you are nothing but a mindless zombie!!

The Yogi, who claims to have correctly diagnosed a person’s ailment just by looking at his/her photograph – in over 500 cases with 85% accuracy – also repeated the common misconception that we humans only use 7-8% of our brains. You know what dude, that is entirely true in the case of people who actually follow you. They don’t even use 1% of their brain! Or may be they just don’t have a brain – only cow dung in their skulls.

When you look at the number of followers these thugs have then you seriously wonder where did evolution go wrong!

Because it’s got Electrolytes!

by Yash 0 Comments

The future is here!

Nestlé is launching a premium water for the stylish women! Yes you read that right.

nestle

And the word electrolytenment in the banner reminds me of the movie Idiocracy.

In a dystopian future, humans are super stupid and everybody drinks Gatorade instead of water. They even use a branded product to water the crops! And when asked asked why all they know is that because it’s got Electrolytes!

It seems the future is very much possible and just round the corner.

Reserve Bank of India and its senseless policies!

F*** you RBI! Because of YOU I can not use balance in my PayPal account to make a payment abroad! Every time I spend $$ for something where I could have used my PayPal balance I have to give a cut to some worthless Indian bank for using the credit card!

You know what, your stupid policies have made sure I will never launch a product or service for Indian audiences! When I launch my next subscription based idea I will register a company in the US just to be able to use something like Stripe!

And then people say why India doens’t have its Facebooks and Googles.

Gadhe jab desh ko chala rahe hai to desh ka kya ghanta kuchh hoga!!

Does THAT justify THIS?

by Yash 3 Comments

So many times I hear this argument – the motto of which is – others are doing even worse things so this is justifiable.

Example – 2002 anti-Muslim pogrom in Gujarat by RSS/BJP
Retort – Congress did the same to Sikhs in 1984!

So Congress killed the sikhs in 1984 so it is ok for RSS/BJP to kill Muslims in 2002? What Congress did in 1984 was despicable. Do we have to follow it?

Forcing people in Bombay Mumbai to write the names of the shops in Marathi
Retort – go to south, you will find all names in their languages.

People down south don’t understand any language other than their own. So they HAVE to write shop names in the most common language. Mumbai being a cosmopolitan city, the most common language is English really! Even Maraharashtrians are sending their kids to English schools, vernacular medium schools are ding a slow death – all of them!

Fear of Mumbai bundh over Bal Thackeray’s death
Retort – When MGR died they burned busses and entire state was closed for a week! A one day bundh is nothing!

Huh! So we have to follow the antics of the lunatics? Committing suicide upon a political leader’s death is also very common down south. Why don’t you follow that example as well?
And we should be thankful that you forced us to shut down only for a day where you could have done it for a week?

Other examples are – why Mumbai riots? Because some Hindus were killed in Dongri. Why Gujarat riots? Because a train coach full of Hindus was burnt at Godhra. Why kill Muslims? Because Hindus are being killed in Pakistan, Kashmir. Why rename Mumbai to Bombay? Because South Indians name their cities in their language.

This action/crime is justified because of that action/crime!

Come on give me a break!

Freedom of Expression is dead in India!

by Yash 0 Comments

I agree with the girl. It is outrageous to bring a city to standstill over a man’s death. And it’s even more outrageous to say it was because people respected him! People feared him. People feared Bal Thackeray and the goons of Shiv Sena. Who knows whose shop/house/car might be the next to be burnt down by the mindless mob of Shiv Sainiks.

Car Park Fail

by Yash 1 Comment

Captured this today at office car park. Some jerk has parked the car ignoring the yellow lines and wasted space for two cars!

Car Park fail

How difficult it is to follow simple rules? How can people be so thick and careless to not think of the ramification of their actions. People just don’t give a heck about using a scarce resource judiciously. The parking will be full by noon and this guy has just denied parking to someone with completely irresponsible parking.